Hindu Marriage Ceremony

Hindu marriage is grounded on various traditions, mainly called ‘sanskars’ and that which is performed at the time of wedding are called ‘vivah Sanskar’. This sanskar marks the start of the second and the most crucial stage of life called the ‘Grihista Ashrama’ which involves setting up of a new family. Two individuals who considered being compatible from a lifelong partnership at this ceremony. In which the responsibilities and duties of a house holder are described. The meticulous details performed in a wedding ceremony vary from region to region, cultures to cultures and often take several hours to complete.

The main stages of Hindu wedding are:

Jayamaala:

Firstly, the bride’s parent welcomes the bridegroom and his family at the boundary of the house where the wedding is taking place. Members from both families are formally introduced, marking the start of new relationship of two families. The bride and bridegroom then exchange jayamaala and declare: ‘Let all the learned persons present here know. We are accepting each other willingly, voluntarily and pleasantly. Our hearts are un deviated and combined like waters.”

Madhu-Parka:

The bride groom is brought to a specially decorated mandap and offered a seat and a precious drink – a combination of milk, ghee, yoghurt, honey and sugar.

Gau Daan and Kanya Pratigrahan:

‘Gau’ means cow and ‘Daan’ means donation. Nowadays, the symbolic exchange of gifts, particularly clothes and ornaments takes place. The mother-in-law gives an auspicious necklace (mangala sootra) to the bride. Mangala sootra is the emblem of marital status for Hindu women. ‘Kanya’ means the daughter and ‘Pratigrahan’ is an exchange with responsiveness on both sides. The bride’s father declares that their daughter has accepted the bridegroom and requests them to accept her.

Vivaha-homa:

A sacred fire is lit and the priest renders the sacred mantras in Sanskrit. Oblations are offered to the fire whilst saying the prayers. The words “Id na mama” means “it’s not for me” are repeated after the offerings. This teaches the virtue of selflessness needed to cascade a family. This is the ceremony of oaths. The husband holding his wife’s hand says “I hold your hand in the spirit of dharma; we are both husband and wife.”

Shilarohan and Laaja Homa:

Shilarohan is climbing over a stone/rock by the bride which symbolizes her willingness and strength to overcome difficulties in pursuit of her duties. Both gently walk around the sacred fire four times. The bride leads three times and the fourth time the groom leads. He is reminded of his responsibilities. The couple join their hands into which the bride’s brother pour some barley, which is offered to the fire symbolizing that they all will jointly work for the welfare of the society. The husband marks the parting in his wife’ hair with red kumkum powder for the first time. This is called ‘sindoor’ and is a distinctive mark of a married Hindu woman.

Sapta-Padi:

This is the main and the legal part of the ceremony. The couple walks seven steps reciting a prayer at each step. These are the seven vows which are exchanged. The first for food, the second for strength, the third for prosperity, the fourth for wisdom, the fifth for progeny, the sixth for health and seventh for friendship. In some regions, instead of walking the seven steps, the bride touches seven stones or nuts with her right toe. A symbolic matrimonial knot is tied after this ceremony.

Surya Darshan and Dhruva Darshan:

The couple looks at the sun in order to be blessed with creative life. They look in the direction of the Dhruva (Polar star) and resolve to remain unshaken and steadfast like the polar star.

Ashirvada (Blessings):

The Couple is blessed by the elders and the priest for a long and prosperous married life.

It is important to clarify two misconceptions about Hindu marriages: arranged marriages and child marriages. Hindu cultures forbid use of force or harassment in marriages. Arranged marriages should be based on willingness of the bride and groom and should not be done without their interest or decisions.